Sunday, November 7, 2010

Agility. Grace. Balance.

Three things that I clearly do not possess. 

Have you ever slipped on a patch of ice?  Or watched someone else slip?  I have decided, based on many years of observations and hand-on experiences, that there are two ways to handle such an attack of gravity.  And individuals tend to lean towards one of these two tactics.

The first style is very similar to that of a toddler resisting being dragged to bed early, or that of a peaceful protester being removed by the authorities.  Go Limp. Dead Weight.  You feel yourself falling/slipping/losing control, and simply allow gravity to take over.  The theory is that there is nothing to be done to prevent the fall, therefore you should simply go with the flow, as it were. 

The second style, one I find myself employing in any situation where my feet are no longer solidly on the ground, is the Flail and Panic.  This technique involves wrenching one's body in ways a contortionist would envy and swinging your arms and either leg not on said slippery surface in all directions in a frenzied attempt to not land on one's posterior.  This tends to do more damage than good.  You may not end up on your tuchis, but you will pull every muscle, tear every tendon, and wring every joint involved. 

I only bring this up because it happened to me today. 

Not on some ice outside, but in my own shower. 

Agility.  Grace.  Balance.

Not me.

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