me, at the restaurant, being my chipper waitress self: Hi! how are you doing tonight? Can I get you something to drink?
customer: No. I'll just have water.
me, to the runner at the theatre: I need a gallon of white elastomeric roofing compound. has to be white. if they don't have it, I want joint compound. ok?
runner, writing it down: sure! elastomeric. white.
half an hour later he returns with four tubes of black caulking. and a caulk gun. really proud of himself.
me, handing a paint card to the girl at the paint counter at Big Do-It-Yourself Store: I need five gallons of this color in high gloss.
girl with far off look in her eyes: did you want that in separate gallons?
me: oh, can you do that color in a five gallon bucket? (it's usually cheaper if you buy one fiver as opposed to 5 ones)
girl: not in that brand...
me: ok, but in the other brand it will still be high gloss?
girl: ....not in a five gallon bucket....
me, wondering why she brought it up in the first place: ok.... i need five gallons of THAT color in HIGH gloss. however you have to do it. thanks.
lady at table, ordering lunch: Does your tuna salad have onions in it?
lady: oh god, then I can't have that, onions would kill me. I'll have the ::some other sandwich::
me: great, and what would you like for a side dish?
lady: oooh, onions rings would be great, thanks!
production manager: So, when are you going to start painting that drop?
me: well, they haven't given me a paint elevation yet, so I have no idea what it looks like. I can't paint it til they tell me what it's supposed to be.